Yes, I’m with a truly spectacular woman.
Sure, her face is beautiful, her body is smokin’ hot plus she’s funny, smart, and always pleasant but that just gets you to good wife status. This girl goes way above and beyond.
For starters, she doesn’t smoke or drink so she’s been permanently designated as the sober driver for me and all my wasted pals. Never a peep if I watch porn or go to a strip club for a Stag party.
A Jewish girl with all of those positive qualities but raised poor
so she doesn’t have an attitude problem and isn’t a JAP (Jewish
American Princess) even a little bit.
Of course, she does all of the cooking and cleaning even with a full-time job and two kids. Cooking is her hobby so in addition to gourmet quality meals, she regularly makes awesome deserts too. And I try to pitch in with the cleaning, but if I blink, the dishes are all already done and the laundry is finished.
A Madonna in public, she does her best to be my whore in the bedroom. In fact, I even look forward to her time of the month or ‘Blowjob Week’ as I’ve come to call it. And the cherry on top: yes, we have even done it doggy-style, facing the TV with the ball game on (and she hates watching sports).
Honestly, I’m never tempted to cheat on her
because any other woman with low enough standards to get with me almost
certainly would be a step down in terms of attractiveness (not that I’m
all that bad).
She takes a big lead in the parenting department including all the bathing, dressing, and bathroom training. My parental involvement is primarily as the bad cop enforcing Mommy’s instructions. I bet I changed fewer than a dozen diapers ever (and we had twins!!).
I don’t know how a poor schmo like me ever got a lady like her but I’m holding on tight and not letting go. I just hope to God she never sees this article. Guys, there really are women out there who are better than your (my) mother. And, Ladies, I’m afraid the bar has been set very high. (I just hope to God that she never sees this posting.)
I nominate Mrs. Oogly as the World’s Best Woman. If you think your chickita is on par with mine (just ‘on par’ because there simply could not be such a thing as a female better than her), I’d love to hear why so please describe your spouse in the comments.
In closing I’d like to respond to Harry Belafonte. BULLSH-T! Harry, you obviously never met a girl like mine.
“If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
An ugly woman cooks meals all the time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.
Her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match,
Take it from me, she’s a better catch.”